Trying to stay somewhat calm and logical, I say "You know that is exACTly how people describe epigastric pain" which is one of the hallmark signs of the progression from early preeclampsia into full-blown-get-the-baby-out preeclampsia. Of course, she minimizes this symptom, which is what so, so many women with early preeclampsia do. I did it too. I get it. I even did it while driving in the car with her, in so much pain I asked her to press down on my belly to push the "baby's legs" down away from my ribs. I keep telling her if there was one thing I could change about my experience, it would be having someone knowledgeable walk me through each stage so that the whole thing would have been less traumatic. I would have wanted a team of providers who took every symptom seriously and got me to the hospital at the right time, not when it was nearly too late.
I tell her that I want her to call Dr. S, and that I'm giving her an hour. I have not done anything that firm yet, and have tried to practice my life's constant work of letting go of the things I can't control.
I am not going to let my sister die.
I just had my first cry since this roller coaster started. I have been highly concerned for my sister and my niece. But now I am terrified. She's 36 weeks today. This has been going on for almost 2 weeks. And with her symptoms progressing, and her minimizing them, I am anxious and scared that something really bad is going to happen.
She called Dr. S's office, but she wasn't there, which prompted my sister to decide to wait until her scheduled appointment tomorrow. Ahhh!!! I can't take it. I really hope that she can accept what is happening to her. I know it's surreal and horrible to have to swallow the news that your first pregnancy is really screwed up, and that you might have a preemie, and that you're not going to get the birth you wanted.
This is not about my relationship with my sister, or our childhood dynamics in which I was the typical older sister, always bossing her around, not letting her make her own choices. I can hear the exasperation in her voice when she "gives in" to one of my urgent requests to call her doctor. I know this is hitting a really tender nerve with her - to blindly take my advice feels like I'm controlling her again. We've been going back and forth for an hour now. She is finally going to call back Dr. S's office and actually tell someone there what's going on to see what they want her to do. Of course, I wish she was going straight to the hospital, but it's better than her other options of calling her husband's aunt (and OB) or walking up the street to talk to their neighbor (an OB).
My fear for my sister is easily spinning into anger at our society that this critical women's issue continues to exist. How is it possible that a disease that was first documented thousands of years ago, that has the potential to affect all women and all babies continues to have no known cause and no cure. I am livid that we live in a world where it's okay to let pregnant women carry on without clear explanations of the signs, symptoms and protocol for preeclampsia, and informed healthcare providers who will do everything they can to keep women from dying.
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